Area man Timothy Berg, 70, has been called before the elder board to “explain his actions” after word got out that he’s just been put on the waiting list for a hip replacement. “I hear they might have ...

The L.A. Dodgers are thanking a Mennonite baseball fan this week for dropping his delicious cottage cheese perogy into the outfield, which cost the Toronto Blue Jays a potential series-winning run in ...

Area man Larry Enns, 51, normally swears off sports completely, but for some reason is really into the Blue Jays this evening. “I’ll be on the edge of my seat,” said Enns. “Rance Mulliniks is playing ...

Alberta Premier Danielle Smith held a massive bonfire outside the provincial legislative building this week to destroy any remaining copies of the Constitution of Canada. “Had my goons find every copy ...

After an apparent gaff in running an ad that accurately represented Ronald Reagan’s views on tariffs, Ontario Premier Doug Ford is now asking the Blue Jays to “let them have this one,” in an effort to ...

Thousands of Mennonites in southern Ontario have refused to join in on the festivities this evening after local pastors preached vehemently against the ‘Worldly Series’s this past Sunday. “I don’t ...

Abbotsford woman Stephanie Friesen has come under a hailstorm of controversy this week after apparently bringing the west coast’s rainy weather with her to Winnipeg. “I haven’t used an umbrella in ...

It seems even President Trump can’t stake awake during one of Pastor Dave’s long meandering sermons. “I’m shocked. I thought for sure he had the stamina to withstand a 2-hour-long boring exposition of ...

Although it’s controversial in some circles, it’s been part of the Anabaptist system, and the Protestant system more generally, for centuries – crossing the floor. Whenever a church member feels ...

Desperate the quell a rising tide of angry Mennonite voters, the White House clarified this afternoon that the new ballroom would not be used for dancing. “Only faspas and quilt auctions,” said press ...

Pastor Dave of South Leamington Mennonite Church is gearing up for his longest sermon yet this upcoming Sunday. “You can’t say I didn’t warn you,” said Pastor Dave, “but those Blue Jays are such an ...

It’s perhaps the most annoying trend to hit Sunday school this year, as Mennonite middle schoolers keep yelling “SIX-oh-six” at every opportunity. “There I am trying to tell them about the loaves and ...